Learn to Practice Self-love this Valentine's Day

Chocolates, flowers, candy hearts - these are the images that often come to mind when Valentine’s Day arrives each February. Although it can be a fun day filled with sweets and expressions of love and affection, Valentine’s Day can also trigger anxiety for many of us. For those who have loved ones to celebrate with, expectations around gifts and grand romantic gestures can become overwhelming and even lead to disappointment. Those of us who spend the holiday alone may feel bombarded by reminders of their relationship status or of painful memories of those they have lost and still grieving. Regardless of how you spend Valentine’s Day, the day can serve as a great reminder that one of the most important relationships we will have in life is the one we have with ourselves. To combat the negative emotions the holiday can invoke, we can instead use the day to practice self-love.  

What is Self-love?

One University of Arizona study defines self-love as having three essential components:

1. Self-kindness - treating yourself with understanding and forgiveness

2. Recognition of one’s place in our shared humanity. This includes understanding that no one is perfect and that personal experiences are part of the larger human experience.

3. Mindfulness - having emotional balance and avoiding being overwhelmed by painful feelings

Practicing Self-love

So how can you take the first steps toward practicing self-love and self-compassion today? As part of our Project Resilience social emotional learning (SEL) lessons for elementary and middle school students, our resilience consultants start by encouraging students to identify their own character strengths:

“Character strengths are the positive parts of your personality and are the keys to being your best self. Even if it’s challenging, identifying your own strengths is an important first step in building resilience.”

- from our Project Resilience SEL Journals

What are you most proud of about yourself? Is it the fact that you are a team player, or maybe that you are great at appreciating others? Is it your persistence? Your sense of humor? Take a moment to be proud of your top character strengths, and recognize that it’s okay if you have not mastered them all. As our Resilience Consultants share with students, “we each have ALL of these character strengths, but some we are really good at and others we are working on.”  

4 Mental Health Considerations for Your New Year’s Resolutions

By Jessica Sirias, Collaborative Counseling Program Psychotherapist

By now, you may have heard the popular phrase “new year, new me”. This saying typically accompanies new year’s resolutions and expresses a surge of optimism and motivation to complete them. However, many people do not complete their resolutions which can impact mental health more than you think. 

Societal expectations often make us feel that we must be productive, should always be doing something, and have concrete outcomes that reflect how successful we are. Productivity can be a useful ingredient to move towards where we want to go, who we want to be, and what we want to accomplish. However, many of us follow the norm by setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves around how productive we should be, and consequently set ourselves up for failure. This can lead to negative perceptions of ourselves, low self-esteem, anxiety, and social isolation from feeling like we are not measuring up to others. Even as a mental health professional and psychotherapist, I too have fallen victim to these patterns and have felt the negative impact of failed new year’s resolutions on my own mental health. This experience prompted me to be more intentional this year and to reflect on what is going to make the most sense for me as an individual. In my work with clients at Acknowledge Alliance, we often discuss how to move toward positive change and setting challenging yet achievable goals throughout the year. If you have made or will soon set a new year’s resolution, consider the following tips to help support your mental health and get you closer to meeting your goals: 

1. Look beyond concrete outcomes.

New year's resolutions do not have to be limited only to eating healthier or exercising more. Perhaps a more meaningful goal would be to get to know yourself better, to repair a relationship, or something as straightforward as surviving the year. You may also consider an incremental goal of just thinking about moving towards some kind of change. Change is difficult, and it is important to reflect on where we stand mentally and emotionally towards the proposed change before actually taking action. 

It is important to think about challenging yourself appropriately - identifying your unique comfort threshold based on where you are in your life, and not necessarily the threshold that meets societal expectations. If you are not ready to take action towards change, your threshold may mean you should just consider and assess the change. And if you are ready to move towards making a resolution, be sure to identify what steps in achieving your goal will be appropriately challenging and realistically attainable. For example, if you set a resolution to get to know yourself better, people might suggest going to therapy as a good step towards meeting this goal. However, if going to therapy feels too challenging or scary, you might consider journaling on a routine basis instead. The key is to follow your own lead.

2. Integrate self-care. 

Self-care is important whenever we consider any kind of change or outcome in our life because it allows us to feel a sense of hope that there is space for new challenges. When we feel hopeful and confident that we can face these challenges, we are more likely to move forward to where we want to go. 

Self-care has become a popular mental health topic and many people might generalize the concept as going on vacation or spa-related experiences. You can define what self-care means and looks like to you. Self-care does not need to cost money and can exist in all aspects of your life. It can be setting boundaries, asking for help, going out with a friend, taking breaks and resting (whatever that looks like to you), or something as simple as drinking water. Think about self-care as glimmers in your life - experiences where you feel enjoyable emotions, can breathe, and have space for yourself. Self-care can also work like buffers to help bring a sense of balance and space to face the challenges of life.

3. Use your support system. 

Human beings are wired for connection and community, and tapping into our support systems can be helpful when we have trouble moving towards our goals, or sustaining them. They can also be helpful when we need encouragement and acknowledgement of our efforts. Using your support system can be an essential part of your self-care regime. For example, when you have trouble or feel stuck moving towards your resolutions, you can reach out to a friend or family member who is supportive and encouraging. You can also ask someone to check in with you or hold you accountable to your goals in a supportive way. If you are in therapy, it can be helpful to use your therapist as a resource and support for reflecting on your goals and experiences.

4. Re-evaluate your resolutions as needed.

Your new year’s resolution does not have to be fixed and stay the same all year round. Treat it like a resolution that could be changed or adjusted at any time. You might learn in a few days or even months from now that your resolution is too challenging and unrealistic. It is also completely okay if you find that the steps you make towards your resolutions start off very inconsistent or even nonexistent. Again, change and sustainability is difficult and we can honor where we are at, give ourselves grace, forgive ourselves if we fail, and then adjust our resolutions if we need to. It can be helpful to re-evaluate and reflect on your resolutions on a regular basis to adjust as needed. 

6 Communication Tips for Navigating Challenging Holiday Season Conversations

The holiday season is a time when many of us gather with friends and loved ones for various celebrations filled with food, fun and laughter. Many welcome a return to social gatherings after the COVID-19 pandemic kept us all apart for so long, but that does not change the fact that get-togethers come with unique challenges. In addition to the stress brought on by balancing hectic schedules, hosting gatherings, and paying for gifts and festivities, interactions with friends and loved ones may also be a trigger for stress. Whether it be distant family you rarely see, coworkers you do not frequently socialize with, or even loved ones you are around often, most of us find ourselves interacting with people who have different points of view and communication styles during the holidays. These differences may be exacerbated by contrasting opinions around COVID-19 safety practices, or when conversations at the dinner table turn to politics or current events. In fact, a recent poll from the American Psychiatric Association found that 31% of Americans anticipate being more stressed this holiday season than last year, which represents a 9% increase since 2021. 

Practicing our communication skills is one way to help navigate the challenges that come along with holiday gatherings. As our resilience consultants remind elementary and middle school students during our Project Resilience social emotional learning (SEL) lessons, “it can be tricky to communicate when our emotional brain takes over from our thinking brain. That’s why we need practice.” Try these communication tips out when you find yourself entering challenging conversations this holiday season:

1. Be a good listener.

Good communication and shared understanding starts with strong listening skills. Empathetic listening is a specific type of communication that is taught in Project Resilience. It requires being observant of others, using active listening, and finding shared or common experiences. Our SEL journals provide a simple way to create a shared positive experience:

“Ask a friend or family member to tell you about a good thing that happened to them today. When they share, listen and respond with positive communication skills - good eye contact, positive facial expressions, and enthusiastic comments. People close to us need our support when things go right, not just when they go wrong. Talking about a positive event together creates a shared positive experience that can make both people feel good.”

2. Understand different communication styles. 

No two people communicate exactly the same way, so try to keep that in mind as you interact with others. Our SEL lessons highlight the 3 parts to Communication: Words, Tone of Voice, and Body Language. When you feel yourself or the other person getting agitated during a conversation, pause for a moment to remind yourself that each individual uses these three components differently. 

3. Set boundaries.

It is okay to be aware of your triggers and to follow your instincts to say no when appropriate. Clearly communicate your expectations and intentions with others to avoid any misunderstandings. 

4. Encourage healthy conversations.

Remind your loved ones that the holidays are a great time to express gratitude and appreciation for each other. When discussions start moving in a negative direction, try to shift focus to your commonalities or engage in activities you all enjoy doing together like playing a board game or other play therapy activities. 

5. Practice self-care.

Be kind to yourself and take breaks when you need to. Even if you only step away for a few minutes to recharge or take some deep breaths, know when you need to prioritize your own well-being.

6. Seek professional support.

During the holidays and anytime of the year, getting professional support may help you work through your feelings and challenges:

• San Mateo County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services (BHRS): 800-686-0101

• Santa Clara County Behavioral Health Services: 800-704-0900

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call or text 988, or chat online

The Power of Practicing Gratitude This Holiday Season

Thanksgiving signals the start of the winter holiday season. While the holiday season is often considered a festive time of year, it can also be a time of great stress, sadness, anxiety or depression. For many of us, the reality of Thanksgiving is that it can lead to family tension and conflict, or awaken painful memories or feelings of loss. The financial and emotional burden of hosting guests or meeting family obligations can be overwhelming, and some people may experience feelings of anxiety in anticipation of challenging conversations with relatives. 

Practicing gratitude is one skill that may help us cope with the many challenges of the holiday season. In their work with students and teachers throughout the year, Acknowledge Alliance’s therapists and resilience consultants often emphasize the many health and well-being benefits of recognizing and expressing the things we are grateful for. Research has shown that gratitude is consistently linked to greater happiness, and has even been shown to help people be more patient, improve their relationships and sleep better.  

As part of our Project Resilience social emotional learning lessons for elementary and middle school students, our resilience consultants share that:

“When we think about what we are grateful for, our brains become better able to notice the good things around us and within us. This means that by practicing gratitude, we can rewire our brains to focus on our character strengths, to notice our feelings, to choose healthy coping skills, and to connect with friends and family. There’s no one right way to practice gratitude! No matter how you do it, noticing and naming what you’re thankful for is a lifelong resilience skill.”

Start cultivating gratitude today by trying one of these activities that our team uses with students in Project Resilience: 

1. Start a Gratitude Journal: Write 3 things every day you are thankful for. Can you also name a bonus thing you are grateful for about yourself? This is a great self-compassion exercise.

2. Share your kind thoughts and gratitude with others by writing, drawing, or sending a message: Write a compliment or thank-you note for someone in your home, share a message of gratitude with a friend over a phone call or text, or draw a picture of something that makes you feel happy and display it for others to see.

Jean Hamilton Speaks About Relationships and Resilience: The Human Connection

Last month, Resilience Consultant Jean Hamilton had the honor of giving the keynote address at Mentor Tutor Connection’s Oktoberfest Community Celebration. After a festive evening of giant pretzels, beautiful pumpkins and inspiring stories from mentors and students, Jean shared insights and learnings from her 22 years of work at Acknowledge Alliance:

“The key piece for our work as resilience consultants has been the understanding that if a young person has at least one human being who they can tell cares about them, has high expectations for them, offers them opportunities to be and show themselves and what they can accomplish or master—these protective factors build and strengthen resilience and reduce risk. It’s through relationships that resilience grows.”

Jean’s overall message was clear - as mentors, tutors, resilience consultants and therapists, we all play a significant role in the lives of young people through the work we do building trusted relationships with them, and it is through that work that we can also challenge oppressive and divisive attitudes or beliefs that serve to separate us from each other. These caring human relationships with young people strengthen their resilience and support their growth into becoming resilient adults who like themselves, who trust others, and who are deeply connected.  Thank you for inspiring us all, Jean!

View the full recording of Jean’s talk here.

Playing to Heal: Building Client Connections Through Play Therapy

By Marta Franca, Collaborative Counseling Program Psychotherapist

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing.” - Charles Schaefer, Psychologist

As a psychotherapist in Acknowledge Alliance’s Collaborative Counseling Program and registered play therapist, I consider play therapy to be a valuable and important approach to working with children, preteens, and teenagers. Those unfamiliar with play therapy may be surprised to learn that it is an evidence-based approach with a long history of research, and has been shown to provide benefits and lead to positive outcomes in the treatment of a variety of mental health diagnoses. 

In my work with preteens and teenagers, I use a variety of play therapy interventions to facilitate communication, assist with developing the therapeutic relationship, and assess and develop treatment goals. Children usually come to therapy because their caregivers, teachers, or other adults in their lives demand it; not because they themselves want to be in therapy. It can be intimidating for a young person to talk to a psychotherapist, someone they do not know, about their feelings, emotions, and issues in their personal lives. In addition to feeling intimidated and uncomfortable, many children, especially young ones, do not have the verbal ability to express their emotions and describe what is happening internally. Play facilitates the communication process and provides children with an opportunity to feel comfortable and less stressed, especially during initial therapy sessions. As the University of North Texas Center for Play Therapy’s Dr. Garry Landreth said, “play relieves feelings of stress and boredom, connects us to people in a positive way, stimulates creative thinking and exploration, regulates our emotions and boosts our ego.” 

What is Play Therapy and How Does It Work?

According to the Association of Play Therapy (APT), “child play therapy is a way of being with a child that honors their unique developmental level and looks for ways of helping in the “language” of the child - play.” With play therapy, trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development” (Braverman, O’Connor & Schaefer, 2016).

Neuroscience research has shown that parts of the brain physically change when we are engaged in play activities. During play, we activate the part of the brain responsible for pleasure and trigger the release of the hormones dopamine, the pleasure and reward neurotransmitter, and oxytocin, which facilitates bonding (Vander Dussen, 2014). Play has also been shown to help increase levels of the GABA protein that is responsible for brain growth, and to help lower the stress hormone cortisol. As a result, play has been linked to numerous health benefits such as helping with attention, self-regulation, impulse control, stress management, problem solving, flexible thinking, empathy, and relaxation (Dargon, 2016). 

The Sandtray used by our therapists working with students at Peninsula Bridge

Putting Play into Practice

A few of my favorite play therapy interventions that I use with children in my practice include board games, the Squiggle drawing game and the Sandtray. Many people are aware of how entertaining common board games can be, but may not be familiar with the benefits they have when incorporated into play therapy. Strategy games like Checkers, Connect Four, Uno and Chess can help build connection, improve mood, develop social skills, teach healthy competition and build self-esteem. Chance games like Sorry! and Go Fish help in similar ways, while also being ideal for kids who are presenting withdrawn, shy behavior, social difficulties, and anxiety symptoms. Jenga is another popular game that has many therapeutic benefits just by the nature of the game; it requires us to slow down and focus in order to pull a block out without knocking the entire tower down. This game can help improve self-control and executive functioning, and can also be used to discuss how to handle frustration and work on managing impulsive behaviors.

The Squiggle game is a drawing game invented by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott, where two players start the game by drawing a random line or squiggle on their own piece of paper. They then exchange papers and finish each other's drawings. After the drawings are complete, the players are invited to talk about their drawings or develop a story using the drawings. In addition to facilitating communication and providing opportunities to explore the client's unconscious thoughts and feelings, it also helps with establishing the therapeutic relationship and releasing stress. The Squiggle game is also a great way to get everyone laughing since each player’s drawing can turn out to be quite unique and interesting. 

The Sandtray is a therapeutic approach I use with children and teens to facilitate the expression of emotions, feelings, thoughts, conflicts, life events, and many other aspects of their lives. Children engage with the Sandtray by being invited to create their own world in the sand. They do this by choosing different objects and miniature toys to place in the sand to represent different aspects of their lives, positive and negative life experiences, feelings and thoughts. The Sandtray creates a safe environment that allows young people to release fears and hidden memories into their conscious awareness. Without using words, the child can express thoughts and feelings by using the miniature toys to recreate a traumatic event that happened in their life, such as being bullied. Additionally, the sensory experience of touching the sand with their hands helps some children with self-regulation.

Enhancing Our Long-term Approach

When I joined Acknowledge Alliance four years ago, I was drawn to Acknowledge Alliance’s foundational belief that “when a child has a caring adult in their life who holds high expectations and believes in them, they can succeed despite adversities.” That core value aligns with my own belief in the importance of deep connection and developing a trusted, safe therapeutic relationship with my clients. In order for change and growth to occur, I believe that this type of positive relationship between the client and the psychotherapist must be developed, and is truly the foundation of psychotherapy. Play therapy facilitates that relationship development process. 

Acknowledge Alliance’s long-term therapeutic relationship-based approach allows me to incorporate my knowledge and training in play therapy to enhance and strengthen the psychotherapy services I provide to preteens and teenagers. It is an honor to be part of Acknowledge Alliance and to continue to provide long-term psychotherapy services to help young people in need.

References

The Association for Play Therapy, Inc. (2022). What is Play Therapy? Retrieved from https://www.a4pt.org

Braverman, D. L., O’Connor, K.J., Schaefer, E. C. (2016). Handbook of Play Therapy.

Dargon, C. (2016). Play Therapy Effectively Diagnose & Assess through Play. [Powerpoint Slides]. Retrieved from https://pesi.com

Vander Dussen, K. (2014, March 14). Neurobiology of Play: Why Play Therapy Matters. [2017 APT Annual Conference]. https://apt.digite//inc.com/apt/conferences/39/view

The Case for Long-term Psychoanalytic Therapy

By Alexandra Papa, Intern Training Program Co-Director & Collaborative Counseling Program Psychotherapist

I began working for Acknowledge Alliance as a psychotherapist in 2019 after being drawn to the organization’s approach of serving at-risk youth from a psychoanalytic treatment approach. When you hear that term, you might imagine Sigmund Freud, cigars, and lying on a couch with a therapist nodding and holding a blank expression while you discuss your childhood. Of course, this depiction does not match reality- psychology has had to endure an image that does not represent the present-day, true essence and technique of the work. In contrast, no one believes that surgeons are still practicing bloodletting with leeches or using arsenic to treat headaches. With increased testing, technology and modern interventions, we now know that those past medical interventions do not work and have found humane and effective alternatives. The same is true for psychoanalysis; it has evolved in the last 100 years and today’s treatments are evidence-based, have been tested, retested and proven to be effective with a variety of mental health disorders (de Maat, de Jonghe, Schoevers & Dekker, 2009).

Not a Quick-fix, but a Highly Effective Solution

In contrast to psychoanalytic therapy, you may have heard of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), an extremely popular approach that centers around using strategies to change thinking patterns and helping individuals to “learn to be their own therapists.” This type of treatment is beneficial and effective in many cases, but it is unfortunately often touted as the “best” and only “right” treatment for mental health disorders. It may be surprising to hear that psychoanalytic interventions can be just as, if not more, effective at treating a wide range of mental health concerns. In fact, long-term psychoanalytic therapy has been shown to be more effective in treating complex mental health concerns, and that for general depression, a psychoanalytic treatment provides equivalent outcomes to CBT (Leichsenring & Rabung, 2011; Thase, 2013).

There has been a recent shift to provide people with “quick-fixes” for long–term, pervasive issues. This shift may be due to a common misconception that it is more cost-effective to offer 8-10 sessions, when in reality, it actually costs less to treat the whole person’s underlying issues than to prescribe them lists of techniques or exercises. According to The Harvard Review of Psychiatry, “data suggests that long-term psychoanalytic therapy substantially reduces health care use and sick leave” and that “the benefits seem to endure for years after termination and reach the point of counterbalancing the costs of treatment approximately three years after treatment termination” (de Maat, Philipszoon, Schoevers, Dekker & De Jonghe, 2007). This is certainly not to say that tools, skills and worksheets cannot be helpful for some people in certain circumstances and for certain psychological issues. However, there is no shortage of these shorter-term, cognitive behavioral skills-based therapies around, and they are typically the therapies covered by most insurance providers, including Medi-Cal. In other words, individuals who cannot pay a typical private practice hourly fee are often only offered cognitive behavioral type therapies on a short-term basis. 

Equitable Access to a Variety of Therapeutic Treatments

With such an abundance of CBT offerings, it is especially relevant to provide an alternative approach to the high-need population Acknowledge Alliance serves. We believe that all people, regardless of their income status, ethnicity or inclusion in any other social group, should be given the opportunity to partake in longer-term, depth-oriented psychological treatments so they may explore the therapeutic approach that best suits them. This decision should be based on their unique and complex psychological state, and what will most help them as an individual, dyad, or family unit. What many people really need is an exploration as to why they are unable to reduce their suffering alone, and how their therapist can support reductions in suffering by building trust, attunement and collaboration to be able to uncover the sometimes painful realities in someone’s mind.

In my past experience working in insurance-based systems, I was faced with severe limitations in terms of what diagnoses I could treat, what type of therapy I could provide, and even treatment length. Because of this, when someone no longer met the criteria for a diagnosis, I would have to close their case. No longer meeting criteria for a diagnosis is of course a positive outcome, but in and of itself, is not an indicator that someone is free of pain and suffering or that they have built up enough inner resources to discontinue therapy. Imagine an adolescent who lives under constant fear that a parent could be deported or that there will not be enough money for rent, all while attending high school, caring for siblings, and attempting to deal with past and present traumas like physical abuse, poverty and traumatic separation from family members. Now imagine that youth was only given access to therapy for three months or less. 

Helping Adolescents Make Meaning Out of Suffering 

Adolescence is a time when many people begin to inquire and wonder about their meaning, purpose, and existence. This is developmentally appropriate, and a positive milestone for teens. When a young person is struggling with economic and cultural hardships on top of life’s routine demands, it may be difficult to imagine how such an adolescent could have the capacity to ponder existential issues over surviving day-to-day challenges. That may be true for some, but many therapists in the psychoanalytic tradition have found the opposite- when people are struggling so intensely that their lives feel like a daily fight for survival, they need to be nourished by gaining greater access to their psyche and make meaning out of their suffering. As psychiatrist Viktor Frankle said, “challenging the meaning of life is the truest expression of being human.” At Acknowledge Alliance, I feel honored to have the opportunity to help at-risk youth to discover that meaning and connect to the humanness Frankle spoke of. It is a privilege to be allowed into someone’s inner world, to be a witness to their life, and to help them develop their minds and emotions into useful tools that will propel them ahead in their lives.   

Citations

1. Saskia de Maat, Frans de Jonghe, Robert Schoevers & Jack Dekker. 2009. The Effectiveness of Long-Term Psychoanalytic Therapy: A Systematic Review of Empirical Studies, Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 17:1, 1-23, DOI: 10.1080/10673220902742476

2. Leichsenring, F., & Rabung, S. (2011). Long-term psychoanalytic psychotherapy in complex mental disorders: Update of a meta-analysis. British Journal of Psychiatry, 199(1), 15-22. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.110.082776

3. Thase, M. 2013. Comparative Effectiveness of psychoanalytic Psychotherapy and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: It’s About Time, and What’s Next? American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol 1, issue 9.

4. de Maat S, Philipszoon F, Schoevers R, Dekker J, De Jonghe F. Costs and benefits of long-term psychoanalytic therapy: changes in health care use and work impairment. Harv Rev Psychiatry. 2007 Nov-Dec;15(6):289-300. doi: 10.1080/10673220701811654. PMID: 18097839.

Back to School: A Hopeful Start Amidst Continued Challenges

As our students and teachers are welcomed back to start the new school year, Acknowledge Alliance  recognizes that along with all the excitement and hopes for the upcoming year, there are still many lingering challenges that remain from the pandemic. Most of the teachers we work with are happy to be teaching in the classroom again, with the challenges of facilitating virtual learning behind them. However, our teachers now find themselves dealing with the unfortunate consequences of a year of virtual learning. Many students struggled with the online learning format and as a result, there are now more students than usual that are struggling to perform at grade level. As educators who are passionate about achieving the best learning outcomes for all their students, many teachers are placing additional pressure on themselves to help these students catch up. With new covid-19 variants arising seemingly every few weeks and case rates constantly ebbing and flowing, our educators are faced with the additional challenge of creating dual lesson plans. Dual lesson plans allow students to complete independent study work while quarantining at home due to illness or exposure, which is critical to their ability to keep up with their peers during prolonged absences. Of course, students are not the only ones susceptible to illness or exposure- our educators must also prepare contingency lesson plans for substitute teachers in case they themselves are forced to quarantine at home.

With the many obstacles our students and teachers are facing, Acknowledge Alliance is ready to provide the support needed to have a successful and fulfilling school year. Our Collaborative Counseling Program therapists are providing on-site counseling to the most at-risk students, healing through the power of judgment-free, long term therapeutic relationships. Our therapists working with the Boys and Girls Club of the Peninsula’s College Success program are providing telehealth counseling to college students returning to campus. Educators continue to get social emotional wellness support from our Resilience Consultation Program’s on-site services and resilience groups for teachers. When our resilience groups were forced to go virtual during the early days of the pandemic, we were pleasantly surprised to see attendance actually increase with virtual sessions. We learned that teachers prefer the flexibility of being able to attend these support group meetings at home or in their classrooms as it suits their schedules.  

The pandemic has brought an increase in demand for counseling and support services across the board, and our team is doing all it can to meet the growing need. Acknowledge Alliance and our community of supporters is here with you - let’s make this school year the best one yet!

Teachers Teach With Open Hearts

Today is Teacher Appreciation Day and Acknowledge Alliance would like to recognize all the dedicated teachers, educators, and school staff in our community! Every day is a good day to give them thanks for all they do.

Our Forget-Me-Not honorees are extraordinary examples of outstanding educators and school partners. They teach with open hearts to strengthen resilience and relationships. They understand that learning is about students' hearts, as well as their minds. Because they genuinely believe in all students and build on their strengths, children and youth feel more connected to school and become inspired to reach their full potential. We invite you to celebrate Priscilla Taylor, Debbie Wiseth, and our school community heroes next Thursday, May 12 at our virtual Forget-Me-Not event.

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PRINCIPAL OF THE YEAR
Priscilla Taylor
Principal
Beechwood School

Priscilla Taylor has worked in education for over 27 years. Her initial teaching position involved technology education, volunteer coordination, and library instruction with students in grades kindergarten through eighth. Building relationships within the community took time and these initial years were invaluable. With a desire to shift to core subject instruction, she took a 6th grade teaching position at Beechwood School for several years. After a short break, she returned in 2000 in a new position as the 6th-8th math instructor and Vice Principal of Beechwood School. The opportunity to engage with the community in a leadership role was life-changing. Three years later, she assumed the role of Principal, a position she held for approximately five years. In 2007, with shifting priorities at home, she made the decision to return to teaching and rejoined the staff as the middle school math instructor. She held that position for twelve years, finding joy in fostering a love of learning in her students while encouraging them to identify their individual strengths and use them to achieve their goals. In the spring of 2020, she was invited to return to administration, and in August, she resumed the role of Principal of Beechwood School. Priscilla strives to balance strong leadership with compassion. She is surrounded by a talented group of professionals and a warm community of students and families. In partnership, they continue to foster the growth of resilient students who can face the challenges of today and thrive in their tomorrows.
 

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TEACHER OF THE YEAR
Debbie Wiseth
Third Grade Teacher
San Miguel Elementary School
 

Debbie Wiseth earned her AA degree at Mt. San Antonio College in Southern California while working full-time at Chick Sporting Goods. After attending Mt. SAC, she graduated from CSUF with her degree in Liberal Studies. Wanting to continue her education, she moved to San Jose and got a second degree in Environmental Studies with an emphasis in Environmental Education at SJSU and earned her Multiple Subject Teaching Credential and CLAD Certificate there as well. While in the teaching credential program, Debbie was placed at San Miguel School for student teaching and was then hired to teach fourth grade. Debbie has been living the dream at San Miguel ever since. This is her 26th year of teaching and she has no plans on retiring anytime soon. One of the greatest rewards of having worked in the same community for so many years is now having her former students’ children and extended family. She said that it is wonderful to have people come back to visit and see families grow. Debbie is honored to receive the Forget-Me-Not Teacher of the Year Award from Acknowledge Alliance. Debbie feels there is no other path for her and still loves the path that she is on…teaching future generations that will one day be the leaders in our communities and world. Teaching young children has always been a passion. Their kind, loving, generous hearts, and their love of learning are what draws her to elementary-age children - seeing their faces light up at the idea of learning something new, overcoming struggles, and seeing the lightbulb shine when they accomplish a task or goal. She thanks her parents for sacrificing and affording her the education she has been given so she can live her passion.

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SCHOOL COMMUNITY HEROES
Front Office Staff
 

Front office staff play a central role in the running of a school. These school community heroes model the social-emotional resilience which Acknowledge Alliance knows to be foundational to building and strengthening a positive school culture. We especially appreciate and acknowledge all the heroes who work with us through our Resilience Consultation Program at these schools:

Adelante Selby School
Beechwood School
Bishop Elementary
Cherry Chase Elementary
Columbia Middle School
Cumberland Elementary
Ellis Elementary
Fairwood Explorer Elementary
Kennedy Middle School (Cupertino)
Kennedy Middle School (Redwood City)
Lakewood Elementary
North Star Academy
Redwood Middle School
San Miguel Elementary
Sunnyvale Middle School
Vargas Elementary

Jean Hamilton Honored With DKG Public Service to the Community Award

We are proud to announce that Jean Hamilton, Acknowledge Alliance Resilience Consultant, has been honored with the Public Service to the Community Award from the Delta Kappa Gamma (DKG) International Society for Key Women Educators of Area IV (Southern San Francisco Bay Area). Congratulations, Jean! Educators she works with at San Miguel Elementary School and Fairwood Elementary School in Sunnyvale School District nominated Jean and she was recognized for her dedicated work and community impact. In her 22 years of working at Acknowledge Alliance, Jean has made a profound difference in the lives of many teachers, principals, administrators, district leaders, and students. She shares some inspiring lessons she learned from the field below. Her reflections come from her experience in facilitating many Teacher and Principal Resilience Groups and from being a therapist.

1. People come first.

What would decisions look like if we put people first? What would educational policies be like if we started from how they impact people? How do we use this as a guiding principle in our work in schools? People are human and humans have certain inherent characteristics: we want connection. We are caring and we want to work together. We also have feelings, whether good or painful. We’ve all experienced hurt of some kind: loss or grief, fear, loneliness, being left out, physical injury or pain, embarrassment or shame, trauma, and the list could go on.

In making the connection between mental health and academic learning, it’s important to remember that there’s a connection between feelings and thoughts. How we are feeling affects our thinking and how we learn. How we are thinking affects our feelings. They are intertwined.

Young people learn when they are feeling good about themselves. Teachers teach best when they are feeling good about themselves. This is where we want to put our attention if we are to help young people be successful in school: learning how to deal with our own feelings so we can better help young people deal with theirs.

2. Relationships matter.

Our work at Acknowledge Alliance was founded on the belief that, next to parents and families, teachers spend the most time with young people and that if we support teachers and the other adults in schools, this would directly impact the lives of young people in positive ways.

One of the protective factors highlighted in the resilience theory is that if a young person has at least one caring adult who knows them, has high expectations for them, communicates a sense of belonging, recognizes their strengths, and gives them opportunities to be themselves, this builds resilience and the capacity to face challenges with self-awareness and confidence.

We took this theory and applied it to building relationships with the adults who work in schools. As a Resilience Consultant, this is what I do: I get to know teachers. I listen to them. I acknowledge their strengths. I tell them what I see that they’re doing well. I value them, I appreciate them, and perhaps most importantly, I like them.

3. Listening is a healing act.

Listening brings about change. Listening is a collaborative act. It is an act of empathy. I believe that if we truly learn how to listen to each other, that’s when healing can begin to take place. Listening communicates that you trust the person you’re listening to, that you respect them, and that you care.

What if we taught others to listen, to be fully present with, and to give aware attention to each other? Classrooms would look different. And so would our schools.

Here’s a note from one of the teachers I’ve worked with in a teacher group. It illustrates the power of listening, connection, caring, and resilience:

"The most beneficial part of the group was building relationships with my colleagues. There is something very important about teachers connecting with other teachers since very few people truly understand what we go through as teachers during the school year. Therefore, being listened to and heard by those who live it and get it was very beneficial for me.

I built resilience and realized that I was not alone in my struggles. I learned that I needed to take care of MYSELF, too, in order to take care of my students at school. I learned that whatever feeling I was feeling was OKAY and should be recognized and addressed. I use this on a daily basis with my students."

Happy Valentine's Day

On this day of love, we’d like to say thank you for making sure that our students and teachers are surrounded by love every day.

For many of the youth we serve through our Collaborative Counseling Program, it is often their first time having someone in their lives who respects them and believes in them.

Your unconditional support helps them build healthy and trusting relationships with our counselors, school staff, peers, family, friends, and community.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Empathy Builds Connection and Resilience

As the new year begins and all of us are affected by the still-emerging long-term toll of the pandemic, we’d like to remind everyone that empathy can help strengthen resilience and deepen connections.

In our Project Resilience social emotional learning lessons, we explain to students and teachers: “Empathy is the ability to recognize what someone is feeling because you have had that emotion, too. It helps you imagine what they might be thinking and feeling.” Being able to walk in another person’s shoes is a fundamental part of human connection.

Empathetic people are able to listen, communicate, help others, and respond more appropriately to the people they share relationships with. Most often, empathy is associated with responding to others who are struggling with feelings of fear, isolation, anger, and loneliness. However, empathy can also equally apply to responding to positive feelings people experience, such as joy and success.

When we cultivate empathy in school communities, everyone benefits. A teacher shares how the school climate has improved through our services: “I feel that there is a general sense of increased compassion and empathy for everyone as we have gone through unprecedented ways to have students learn. I'm very happy about the focus on the whole person, starting from social emotional well-being, which can then allow academic learning.“

Likewise, students found empathy to be a valuable resilience skill:

“The most useful resilience skill was empathy because it helped me understand how others feel in different situations (good or bad). It also helped me understand that others react to a situation differently than you do, so you have to look at it in their perspective, to understand where they are coming from.”

“Empathy has been the most useful for me because it leads to patience and self-control when communicating with others.”

Imagine how our relationships and community can be strengthened if each of us practiced empathy in all of our interactions and daily approaches to work and life. This can inspire more kindness and connection with everyone around us.

1440 Foundation Awards $100,000 Grant

We’re excited to ring in the New Year with a big celebratory announcement! We are honored to share that Acknowledge Alliance has recently received a $100,000 grant from 1440 Foundation that will enable us to expand our reach to more students in need of our mental health counseling services at schools and youth development organizations.

With the intent to build compassionate communities that thrive on trust, 1440 Foundation aligns with nonprofit leaders who plant seeds of hope in places underestimated by most of society, but are ripe with potential. This resonates with the work we do at Acknowledge Alliance, as the students we serve in our Collaborative Counseling Program learn to cope with repeated emotional trauma after facing adverse life events, poverty, and oppression.

“I am proud to partner with 1440 Foundation. Together, we can deliver critical and life-changing services to our community’s most vulnerable youth, and foster an emotionally safe environment where teachers want to teach and students want to learn,” said Acknowledge Alliance’s Executive Director, Sharon Navarro.

By providing students with reliable support and access to our counseling services, youth can engage in school, reach their full potential, become more resilient, and experience renewed hope with a future of new possibilities. Acknowledge Alliance program services are made possible through funding partnerships, grants, and donations. Hence, we are deeply grateful for the generous support we receive from 1440 Foundation and our whole community.

As one year closes and another begins, Joanie Kriens, co-founder of 1440 Foundation, shares this inspirational message to carry forward: “There are 1440 minutes in each day. That's 1440 opportunities for everyone, no matter who we are, to be more aware and mindful of how we're spending our time.” 

Big Impact: Spreading Holiday Cheer and Hope

In this season of gratitude, our thoughts turn gratefully to you with warm appreciation. This past school year alone, through the second year of the global pandemic, we served 29 schools and community organizations, 2,320 students, and 437 educators. Here are some of the outcomes we achieved together:

• 91% of Collaborative Counseling Program students we served remained in school or had graduated over the year.
  

• Youth working with an Acknowledge Alliance counselor experienced improved family and social functioning, more enjoyment of recreational activities, better sleep, deeper community connections, increased optimism, decreased depression and anxiety, and enhanced trauma integration.
  

• 94% of educators working with Acknowledge Alliance staff reported using strategies, such as self-care, to promote personal and professional resilience.
  

• The most valuable aspect of Project Resilience social emotional learning lessons, according to students and teachers, were the lessons focused on mindfulness. Learning new coping skills helped students choose healthier ways of managing their anger and stress.
  

We here at Acknowledge Alliance remember that relationships and community connection are at the heart of our mission. Your contribution and encouragement allow us to touch many lives and make a big impact! 

As a reminder, there is still time to make a gift before the year ends.

Your support helps us build resilient school communities where students and educators feel connected, valued, engaged, and hopeful. Thank you. We wish you happiness, health, and peace into the New Year!

Special Thank You to the Morgan Family Foundation

Since 2008, the Morgan Family Foundation has supported Acknowledge Alliance as an outstanding anchor funder and partner in their efforts to change lives and transform communities. Although the Morgan Family Foundation will be winding down, closing the foundation operations as of December 31, 2021, their impact will continue to grow and they will be deep-rooted in our work for many generations to come.

Over these last 13 years, they have made it possible for our Resilience Consultation Program to expand our reach from 6 schools and 75 students to 19 schools and district offices, reaching as many as 3,000 students. With the Foundation’s support, we were able to pilot the first Resilience Group for educators in Sunnyvale in 2011. Today, we reach approximately 500 educators each year, and over 80 teachers and principals participate in Resilience Groups, which many view as “essential.” These examples are a glimpse of the tremendous ways they have partnered with our organization. We are forever grateful for the Foundation’s strategic vision, and for seeding our emerging idea to support entire school communities and create classrooms where teachers want to teach and students want to learn. Thank you.

As the Morgan Family Foundation passes the torch to the next generation of philanthropists, they hope to inspire others to give generously of their time, talent, and treasure for the benefit of others. 

An Inspiring Student Story

This Giving Tuesday, we’d like to give thanks to you for supporting our work in strengthening the resilience of students and educators through meaningful relationships.

The students we see in our Collaborative Counseling Program have experienced repeated emotional trauma after facing adverse life events, poverty, and oppression. While we live in a fast-paced society that wants to create quick fixes for human suffering, we do the opposite here at Acknowledge Alliance. We take time to make a connection with these youth, and help them unpack what has happened to them. They heal from the inside out so that they can re-engage in positive, lasting change.

We hope you take a moment today to listen to this powerful student story below, as shared by Raquel Villa Linares, our Asst. Director of Clinical Training and Collaborative Counseling Program Psychotherapist, at our recent Appreciation Event.

Monica* was referred to therapy because she had been missing school for the previous two years. She felt overwhelmed by anxiety and unwanted negative thoughts and feelings that made it very difficult for her to go to school. Although the initial efforts to re-engage Monica in school were unsuccessful, our therapist, Raquel, did not give up and consistently reached out.

Over time, Monica built trust, opened up, and made progress: 

• First, she experienced being treated with dignity, compassion and respect, which helped her to see herself with new eyes and recover confidence in herself.
  

• She understood the impact of trauma and grief in her life, and finally made sense of her feelings, thoughts and behavior.
  

• The school worked with her to make sure that she felt safe coming to school, so her anxiety about school diminished over time.
  

• She learned to communicate better with her teachers and her parents.
  

• She got better at controlling her impulses and making better choices. She proudly shared how she had managed to stay away from someone trying to fight her. “Now I know better,” she said with a huge smile on her face.
  

• Eventually, she understood the value of education. She wanted to be a good role model for her younger siblings. She graduated high school and was considering attending community college and working in the medical field.

At the last therapy session, Monica said to Raquel, “Thanks so much for not giving up on me.”

We wholeheartedly extend this student’s message of gratitude to you. Your support allows us to help youth like Monica change their paths towards a better and hopeful future. Thank you!

*Student's name has been changed to protect confidentiality.

Community Gratitude Journal

Dear Acknowledge Alliance Family,

“Thank you so much. I was in a pretty dark place at the beginning of Project Resilience, and you brought me up. The coping skills you taught us really helped me when I was dealing with my own problems.” –7th Grade Student

I am so inspired by this student’s expression of gratitude to Acknowledge Alliance’s social emotional learning facilitator. I see it as a powerful reminder of the importance of resilience and mental health support during the pandemic. As the Board Chair, I’ll follow this student’s lead and extend my deep appreciation to you, for shining a light on the well-being of students and educators through your support.

You may already know that this year has been especially difficult for students and educators alike. And through it all, every mental health professional on our team has been on the frontline, caring for students and educators who feel isolated, burnt out, stressed, and grief-stricken. Students have experienced additional trauma from the pandemic that has taken a particularly large toll on vulnerable families. Teachers, who are already under the pressure of addressing students’ learning losses, have been tasked with acknowledging students’ shared trauma and navigating new, multi-layered challenges in virtual and in-person classrooms.

When students and educators were asked about their experience with Acknowledge Alliance, a common theme that emerged was gratitude for support, connection, and the reminder that one is not struggling alone. You’ll see some of their reflections in our “community gratitude journal" below. I hope you realize how much your incredible generosity means to our organization and those we serve. We rely on your support to continue our vital work. Because of you, students and educators feel valued, validated, empowered, resilient, hopeful, and grateful.

Please join me in making a gift today to ensure that local educators and students like “Sammie” have the necessary tools to be successful throughout the school year and beyond. Before counseling, Sammie did not attend school for a whole year and believed that the school system was against him. He felt like an outcast until counseling helped him build positive relationships. He expressed gratitude for having a counselor he could connect with and talk about his inner world. He went from feeling depressed and hopeless to feeling confident. He now relates to his teachers, uses resources to meet his needs, and feels motivated to attend school. He is passing all of his classes with A’s and is on track to graduate on time!

Together, we are creating engaging school communities for students like Sammie, where mental health matters and relationships come first. This is what our founder, Cleo Eulau, had always envisioned. Thank you for furthering our mission to promote lifelong resilience in children and youth, and strengthen the caring capacity of the adults who influence their lives.

With gratitude,
Steve Hope
Board Chair

Helping Students Cope With Feelings and Stress

Emotions are a normal and important part of our lives. Some emotions we enjoy experiencing, while others - like sadness, anger, loneliness, or fear - are more unpleasant and harder to deal with. Understanding how to cope with difficult emotions in a healthy and productive way can increase resilience, reduce stress, and help you live a happier life.

One of the topics in our Project Resilience social emotional learning curriculum is “Coping With Feelings.” We describe to students and teachers that coping skills are how you take care of yourself when you have a strong emotion. Learning about coping skills and managing emotions has been critical to many students:

“For me, the most useful resilience skill so far has been coping with feelings because recently, something tragic happened to one of my friends. It really affected all of us. My coping skills helped during that time, and I am still using them.” -Student

“I learned how to cope with different emotions during these hard times. Sometimes I get so mad, I can hardly control my anger, and it leads to me losing control. The tips I learned for coping skills really helped me learn how to control my emotions better.” -Student

In our Collaborative Counseling Program, students gain the ability to cope with trauma and stress through therapy. Our long-term, strengths-based therapeutic approach focuses on building trusting relationships that strengthens resilience and leads to lasting change:

 “Counseling has been helpful because my counselor always checks on me at all times. She understands what I'm going through and doesn't ever judge me for the person I am. I’ve learned how to cope with things when feeling stressed.” -Student

“The student entered therapy feeling stressed, sad, and fearful. They increased self-understanding and learned coping strategies through therapy, which significantly reduced distress. The student completed the school year and is now focused on participating in meaningful activities and supporting others.” -Counselor

The First Days Back: Building Reconnection

Acknowledge Alliance is honored to start the new school year back on school campuses. During these first days back to school, we are helping school communities and youth development organizations establish a welcoming environment for students to feel fully engaged and reconnected. With the disruptions from COVID-19, schools are seeing a high level of stress and anxiety among many students. Some students will be eager to reconnect and others will need more time to settle in. Returning teachers and students need additional support to build connections to school, to each other, and to the learning process. After experiencing more than a year of isolation, it is especially important to create a sense of belonging and center relationships at the heart of learning.

Most educators feel the pressure to attend to “learning loss” from the pandemic year. Acknowledge Alliance Resilience Consultants are meeting with teachers in K-8 schools to provide any support they need, while also helping them prioritize reconnection in their classrooms. When teachers become better attuned to their own needs, they can meet their students’ needs with more empathy and understanding. We created a resource for teachers with ideas that encourage them to practice self-reflection, focus on the social connection before academic content, make time for regular social emotional learning opportunities, and ask for help. Click here to read this teacher resource.

Beyond the classroom, many students need help processing trauma and grief from the pandemic that has cost lives and livelihoods in families that were already vulnerable. Acknowledge Alliance Psychotherapists are meeting with youth to provide on-site mental health counseling at Sequoia Union High School District high schools, Peninsula Bridge, and Boys & Girls Clubs. To engage students, we continue to show up consistently and dedicate as much time as needed to build trusting relationships. We connect with students through open hearts and open minds without judgment, in order to get to know who they really are as individuals. Only then can the therapeutic process begin to help students manage trauma and create lasting change in their lives.

The transition back to school will bring new challenges, but Acknowledge Alliance will be here to strengthen the resilience of students and educators every step of the way, starting with what matters most: human connection.

Forget-Me-Not 2021 Highlights

Dear Acknowledge Alliance Family,

Thank you to everyone who participated in our annual gala, Forget-Me-Not: Fields of Hope 2021! We are truly grateful for all the meaningful work and dedication our honorees put towards serving our education community. Below, we have compiled the words of our program staff to share with you, why our honorees are so deserving of recognition during such a tumultuous year. We are also proud to share the humble and encouraging words of Sara Shackel and John Haynes II here: https://bit.ly/3bKpLjG. As many of our attendees echoed, we are fortunate to have passionate, caring, and wonderful role models who encourage and support the students, educators, and parents in our community.

Thank you for believing in our mission, for believing in our teachers, and for believing in our youth.

With hope,
Sharon Navarro
Executive Director

Huge Thank You to Our Event Partners

“Blooming Empathy” Diamond Sponsor

Growing Resilience” Gold Sponsor

“Planting Empathy” Silver Sponsor