6 Communication Tips for Navigating Challenging Holiday Season Conversations

The holiday season is a time when many of us gather with friends and loved ones for various celebrations filled with food, fun and laughter. Many welcome a return to social gatherings after the COVID-19 pandemic kept us all apart for so long, but that does not change the fact that get-togethers come with unique challenges. In addition to the stress brought on by balancing hectic schedules, hosting gatherings, and paying for gifts and festivities, interactions with friends and loved ones may also be a trigger for stress. Whether it be distant family you rarely see, coworkers you do not frequently socialize with, or even loved ones you are around often, most of us find ourselves interacting with people who have different points of view and communication styles during the holidays. These differences may be exacerbated by contrasting opinions around COVID-19 safety practices, or when conversations at the dinner table turn to politics or current events. In fact, a recent poll from the American Psychiatric Association found that 31% of Americans anticipate being more stressed this holiday season than last year, which represents a 9% increase since 2021. 

Practicing our communication skills is one way to help navigate the challenges that come along with holiday gatherings. As our resilience consultants remind elementary and middle school students during our Project Resilience social emotional learning (SEL) lessons, “it can be tricky to communicate when our emotional brain takes over from our thinking brain. That’s why we need practice.” Try these communication tips out when you find yourself entering challenging conversations this holiday season:

1. Be a good listener.

Good communication and shared understanding starts with strong listening skills. Empathetic listening is a specific type of communication that is taught in Project Resilience. It requires being observant of others, using active listening, and finding shared or common experiences. Our SEL journals provide a simple way to create a shared positive experience:

“Ask a friend or family member to tell you about a good thing that happened to them today. When they share, listen and respond with positive communication skills - good eye contact, positive facial expressions, and enthusiastic comments. People close to us need our support when things go right, not just when they go wrong. Talking about a positive event together creates a shared positive experience that can make both people feel good.”

2. Understand different communication styles. 

No two people communicate exactly the same way, so try to keep that in mind as you interact with others. Our SEL lessons highlight the 3 parts to Communication: Words, Tone of Voice, and Body Language. When you feel yourself or the other person getting agitated during a conversation, pause for a moment to remind yourself that each individual uses these three components differently. 

3. Set boundaries.

It is okay to be aware of your triggers and to follow your instincts to say no when appropriate. Clearly communicate your expectations and intentions with others to avoid any misunderstandings. 

4. Encourage healthy conversations.

Remind your loved ones that the holidays are a great time to express gratitude and appreciation for each other. When discussions start moving in a negative direction, try to shift focus to your commonalities or engage in activities you all enjoy doing together like playing a board game or other play therapy activities. 

5. Practice self-care.

Be kind to yourself and take breaks when you need to. Even if you only step away for a few minutes to recharge or take some deep breaths, know when you need to prioritize your own well-being.

6. Seek professional support.

During the holidays and anytime of the year, getting professional support may help you work through your feelings and challenges: