At the end of every school year, teachers respond in many ways, including looking forward to the last day, feeling sad about the tremendous loss, or maybe a combination of both. This year, with the stay-at-home orders for the last three months and figuring out not only how to do distance learning but also how to stay connected to students, the end of this year may be particularly challenging.
The pandemic has led to a series of losses on a global scale that seem too big to really understand, though we have all felt losses related to our sense of safety, our social connections, personal freedoms, and financial security. Everyone is impacted, including people who haven’t lost anything like a job or a loved one: a sense of communal grief or “ambiguous loss” has been felt as we witnessed many systems in our society become unstable, including the education system. Most of us have felt losses in areas that we previously felt were stable, including predictability, control, justice, and the belief that we can protect our children.
For your students, they have been managing losses related to these same areas, and, because of their developmental stage, their responses have likely looked different. Many have had dysregulated nervous systems, making them antsy, volatile, hyper-vigilant, and easily triggered into extreme reactions. Others may have withdrawn, appearing dazed or tuned out. Regardless of the specific responses, most children who have felt the impacts of school closures the most may not have been able to settle their emotional brains sufficiently to engage with their thinking brains. And for some students, if their families are even more vulnerable, there are even more risks related to isolation, poverty, homelessness, and domestic violence.
The good news is that grief is a natural part of the process of being human. For most of us, we are resilient and we will emerge with a sense of normalcy, even if we can’t predict what that might look like now. Make sure now, in the last several weeks, that you continue to help students “name and claim” their feelings of loss, as identifying feelings helps them move through the body, and re-regulate our systems. Pay attention to students whose lives may be chronically disrupted and need extra support.
More good news: the potential of schools to heal traumatized children and prevent an escalation of need is huge. It does not take transforming classrooms into mental health clinics or teachers into counselors: the treatment is the school community. By prioritizing your relationships with your students during this ending process, you are creating a transformative classroom that is healing. There’s a bonus with this response: what you are doing now will not only help your students, it will also help you.
While acknowledging the reality of the present is critical in supporting your students, focusing on the good at the end of the school year can help them have a more positive closure, which in turn helps them maintain some emotional regulation and stability as they move into the summer, and face potential new losses that we cannot yet predict. Endings are a time for reflection, integration, and looking forward, and as the final weeks of school approach, it is important to think about the kind of endings we want for ourselves and our students, now more than ever.
Questions to Encourage Reflection and Growth
As you plan for the last several weeks, consider bringing the following suggestions into your virtual classroom and interactions. Recommended questions can be used for class discussion, small groups, or personal reflection activities. Remember, your job is to listen and help students articulate their thoughts, not to “fix” or solve what is expressed. Responding with empathy and kindness comes naturally to teachers, so share your heart as you hear what they have to say.
Reflection: Review and Celebrate
Think about times when your students showed initiative or how they have changed over the school year. Your reflection and detailed description will help your students also feel like you cared enough about them to remember the small stuff.
How does it feel to be ending the school year?
Where did we, as a class, begin and how far have we come, in terms of academics, problem solving, and personal and classroom growth?
What will they miss about this year?
What will they never forget about this year? / What is one nice memory that they have from this year?
Integration: Growth and Change
Help your students think about how their new skills and growth affect who they are now and what they are capable of doing.
What did they learn about themselves this year?
What have they discovered are their strengths?
In what ways did they surprise themselves with what they accomplished?
What is one think they feel proud about?
One obstacle or barrier that they were able to remove?
Looking Forward: New Challenges and Opportunities
Help your students become excited about what comes next. Empower them to feel they have some choice and control over what they want to have happen, based on what they have learned this year.
What do they want to learn next year?
What friendships will they take with them?
What do they wish for each other in the future?
This is an important time of the year for most of your students, this year especially. Take the time to stay engaged and reflect, integrate, and look forward with your class so they leave on a positive and inspiring note. The more you can help them understand how they are currently applying what they have learned, the more they can believe in that change and growth themselves.
Your school’s Resilience Consultant is here to support you as you create healthy closure for you and your students at the end of this year.
Resources
American Psychological Association, Grief and COVID-19: Mourning our bygone lives
Tes for Schools (international student counseling organization), Five ways to help children heal after the pandemic